Chicago, IL - Amanda Brendoting, a 3rd year sociology major studying at the Chicago School of Manual Arts believes that Tundra Gear hats are actually a powerful attractor when it comes to dating. In a double blind test conducted over the course of 3 weeks last semester, Brendoting found that men wearing the Tundra Gear Tundra Hat were 4 times more likely to be engaged in conversation by a woman. In the study, men were selected at random and seated in public areas with the TundraGear hat on their heads. Invariably, the numbers suggest, these men were approached by women almost immediately, with the quickest response time being just under 10 seconds. Sometimes subjects would be approached by one woman and then another woman would interrupt the conversation in an attempt to gain the man's attention.
"The hats are real ice breakers, no pun intended. I mean they are warm and all. But they also have a distinct style, and women like that. We aren't living in the 90's anymore where women are afraid to go up and talk to a guy. Women are more empowered and certainly more aggressive these days. But everybody, men and women alike still struggle with good pick up lines. Its not easy to come up with witty things to say. But, if a cute guy is wearing one of these hats, its really quite easy. I mean, 'Hey, I see you like warm head, want some more?' Its as easy at that."
Amanda Brendoting's study is not without controversy, however. Former friend and sorority sister Debrah Cauling claims that Brendoting's study is flawed if not fraudulent. "Last year when she was finishing up this study, I remember it. It was just before Christmas break and lots of students had already left for the holidays. But not Amanda. She was stuck here on campus, trying to find 20 more subjects to study. Time was running out. The night before her project was due, she knocked on my door and asked to borrow my dart board. I asked her what she needed it for and she mumbled something about numbers. I pressed her for more info, but she just grabbed the board and darted back to her room. Now, I know I don't have any hard proof. But I think she used that dart board to make up the numbers. I mean, its the perfect crime. Pretend like you're relaxing and playing darts. But in all reality, you're generating a random group of numbers between 1 and 20 to use in you're precious study that you wouldn't have completed in time unless you fudged the numbers."
Even if Debrah Cauling is telling the truth and her suspicions are correct, one wonders why she would rat out her former best friend and current sorority sister. "I'm doing this for Amanda. Its the best thing. I'm not going to enable her anymore. The buck stops here."
Brendoting, when told of the accusations, was unable to hide her laughter. "Debrah is such an idiot. I finished that study weeks before it was due. I wanted the dart board so I could play drinking games with my new best friend and a couple of guys from the lacrosse team. I just pretended like it was for an assignment so she wouldn't get jealous and tell our house mother. Boys aren't allowed in the house after 8pm and Debrah is notorious for ratting out girls who break that rule."
Prof. Jenkins, the man responsible for grading Amanda's paper commented, "The study appears to be well done. Its certainly not Earth shattering in its findings. In fact, its rather stupid. But Amanda appears to have followed protocol very well. I'd say her findings are right on."
0 comments:
Post a Comment